What To Text After Being Ghosted

It’s a heartbreaking fact in the modern dating world. Sometimes people are left just hanging without any explanation. For those of you who’ve been ghosted, not only does it shatter your self-esteem, it can also hurt as much as physical pain. To those of you out there who’ve done the ghosting and I know you’re out there, what’s up with you? Ghosting can be one of the most distressing experiences in online dating. Find out what it is, when it happens, and why dating apps and social media contribute to its rise.

Meet the Whittakers: ‘America’s most inbred family’ that speaks in grunts

I think sometimes there’s a bit of an avoidance factor as well, just a tendency to. It’s easier to avoid somebody and just ghost them than it is to have the conversation that might be uncomfortable in some way about choosing to not want to be in a relationship with somebody. Because that’s the other side of it, it’s very uncomfortable for a lot of people to have that conversation. I would like to say that there’s some uniform standard for saying what’s an appropriate obligation, in my mind, common decency, being kind to other people.

They may rationalize to themselves that they’re sparing your feelings by not admitting that they no longer want to continue the relationship. However, leaving without a word, let alone closure, is more cruel and painful. If you insist on knowing and get a response like, “I just don’t feel it anymore,” it isn’t satisfying.

Recognize the external forces that facilitate ghosting

Ghosting is the act of completely stopping all communication with someone without prior notice, typically with a romantic partner. The person ghosting will ignore texts, calls, and any other forms of reaching out, and will normally not give any explanation to the other person. While ghosting can happen in all types of relationships, it’s most prominent in those that take place mostly online.

Confirm that the person is intentionally ghosting you. If you just met the person or went on 1 or 2 casual dates, checking up on them probably isn’t worth your time. However, if you’ve been friends or romantically involved for months or years, they might just have a lot on their plate. Before jumping to conclusions, see if they’ve simply been busy, and make sure that they’re in good physical and mental health. If someone you’ve connected with reaches out and you’re no longer interested, let them know you’ve had a change of heart. Craft a friendly message to have on hand in place of the silent treatment.

Do you want to be married to a man who bolts when things get tough or uncertain? No one likes to play texting games (“I’ll wait two hours to respond because I don’t want to seem too eager”), but it’s also a red flag if you consistently feel like the only one to initiate contact. There’s nothing fun about waiting to see if someone reaches out to you, only to realize after a couple days that it seems unlikely, so you just give in and text first again, against your better judgment. If you see a pattern and truly feel in your gut that they’re uninterested, beware that this person could easily just cut off all contact with no notice. If you’ve ghosted someone, chances are you’re totally fine with it.

Interestingly, though, the term was actually used as far back as the 1990s. Some pop culture writers and scholars have even used the term to describe ghostwriting in hip-hop music. Shabaz Ali, a British high school teacher, has built up a huge online following hilariously mocking ostentatious displays of wealth on social media. On TH3K’s PinkCupid website, there’s a button to download the X-rated patch of the game (the actual gameplay is pretty PG-13, though there are a few innuendos). This is not an actual X-rated patch — it’s a link to a Wattpad story about Iris’ abduction from TurboTax. Yes, MSCHF appears to have written fan fiction about Iris the tax prep anime girl .

The insecure friend may end up feeling inadequate about themselves simply from comparing themselves to you. As a result, they may prefer cutting you out of their life. Ghosting is when someone abruptly cuts off all communication with you without warning. Perhaps you used to message each other regularly, however you find that they are taking longer and longer to reply. Eventually, they stop communicating with you all together. Ghosting often occurs in dating but can happen in friendships or even among colleagues.

Casual dating partner

When you do realize the relationship is over, you have no idea what happened or what you did wrong. Studies have shown that social rejection of any kind activates the same pain pathways in the brain as physical pain, meaning there’s a biological link between rejection and pain. That goes for friends, partners and, if it had feelings, that lonely latte. Asking for a beverage and then jetting may not seem equal to ditching an unwanted romance, but it’s really the same behavior.

You may feel as though this friend has disappeared off the face of the earth. Maybe they’re no longer available to talk or meet up with you. It’s probably a struggle to get hold of them or even find out how they’re doing. Ghosting may feel like a gentler way to spare someone’s feelings, but the silence will cause more pain than intended. If you’re prone to ghost, keep in mind that the reason you started talking to your match in the first place is because you liked them. Use words and behaviors so that if you crossed paths, you wouldn’t feel anxious or awkward.

Perhaps you saw the relationship as a casual thing all along, with no intention of taking things further. As you spent more time with them, it made you nervous as their expectations seemed to be growing over time. Instead of telling them that you never saw a future, ghosting seemed an easier option in ensuring it was over.

By focusing on friends who reciprocate the effort you put in, you’ll be much happier in the long run. It’s true that friends come and go, but those worthy of being lifelong friends will stick with you. Friends ghost for many reasons, however, you may never figure out why. We explore some of the common reasons as to why friends ghost and how you can deal with being ghosted.